Olivia Gaj, Aiden McConnell, Mykayla McCarthy, & Archer Maduro
Our group chose to analyze chapter thirteen of Walden, “House-Warming”, by comparing Versions A and G of paragraph 5a. Version A was written in 1847, and Version G was written in 1854. The original plan was to analyze paragraphs 5-7, but it was suggested that we narrow our selection down because there was so much content to go through. We focused on 5a by itself because this paragraph went through significant revision in the seven years Thoreau was writing it. Not only is the final paragraph significantly longer than the original draft, but Version G expands heavily on metaphorically connecting Thoreau’s chimney bricks to past civilizations.
The most notable revisions of paragraph 5a are the change in length and the thematic focus. Version A contains three sentences and 128 words, whereas Version G has seven sentences and 230 words. In Version A, Thoreau focuses on the physical bricks and the preparation behind them: he describes cleaning the bricks and making new mortar while emphasizing the strength of the aged mortar and steel. It’s a well-written paragraph, but it does more “telling” than “showing”. Version G connects the physical bricks to the ancient civilizations of Babylon and Mesopotamia. Thoreau sees his chimney as a personal, modern take on Mesopotamian utilizing second-hand bricks from Babylon; the bricks he uses have a rich history already within them, and they’re continuing to serve their purpose years later.
Paragraph 5a, Version A
Paragraph 5a, Version G
The first sentence of 5a receives a short addition by 1854, “I studied masonry.” It acts as a stronger, more complete introductory sentence that gives the reader a little more context on why Thorau is focusing this paragraph on the physical process behind preparing the bricks and building his chimney. This also ties into “I learned more than is usual of the qualities of bricks” in the second sentence by providing more foundation for this line, so it doesn’t seem like it’s coming out of nowhere. There’s a similar context change in the second sentence of Version A, with the line “manufacture of art of making,” replacing “art of making” with “qualities of” in Version G. This change shows that Thoreau is looking at this project from a more knowledgeable perspective now that he understands more about masonry by building this chimney.
The line “my bricks were old ones” in the second sentence is changed in Version G to instead refer to the bricks as “being second-hand ones.” This is significant to Thoreau shifting this paragraph to focus on the bricks’ thematic connection to ancient civilization. Using “second-hand” as a more specific descriptor subtly tells the reader that these bricks were something else before they were part of Thoreau’s chimney. This distinction is important to Thoreau, and it’s important to him that the reader sees this distinction as well.
The first half of sentence two in Version A (ending at the semicolon) has heavy additions and becomes sentences three to five in Version G. This is where he picks up the comparison of his bricks to ancient civilizations, telling the reader that “many of the villages of Mesopotamia are said to be built of second-hand bricks of a very good quality, obtained from the ruins of Babylon.” Thoreau isn’t saying that his bricks are literally the same ones that built the former foundations of Babylon or Mesopotamia. Instead, he’s thinking about the thematic similarities between his use of second-hand materials and the Mesopotamians’ use of second-hand materials. In both scenarios, the bricks carry the past civilization’s/peoples’ existence and history in their material, and they carry this existence into the structure of whatever its new purpose is. From there, these bricks now hold the history of their past and current use, and if used again in another structure, they will continue to carry those histories with them.
The second half of sentence 2 from Version A to Version G has little change in comparison to the first half. “However that may be” is added as a transitional phrase at the beginning of what becomes sentence seven of Version G. It shifts the focus away from the comparisons to Babylonian mortar and returns to describing his modern-day materials.
“As my bricks had been in a chimney before, though I did not read the name of Nebuchadnezzar [king of Babylon] on them” is added to the start of sentence three of Version A (which is now sentence seven of Version G). This brings the reader back to the link between Thoreau and ancient Mesopotamia. He is once again saying that his bricks haven’t literally come from Babylon, but thematically continues the same train of thought he used earlier when describing the “second-hand” Mesopotamian bricks in the second sentence.
The line “instead of the usual rubbish” in sentence three of Version A is removed in sentence seven of Version G. Our group debated Thoreau’s reasons for removing this line so late in the revision process when it was included in every draft up to Version G. It’s possible that Thoreau felt it no longer necessary to describe the bricks and stones he used as “rubbish”. Perhaps he felt more respect for his materials after reflecting on their history and his previously mentioned thematic connections to Mesopotamia and Babylon. He also could’ve decided it was unnecessary now that he had greater knowledge and experience with masonry. Thoreau also may have simply decided that this line no longer suited the tone of the paragraph. Another group member suggested that this was Thorau’s way of cutting the sentence short and cutting himself off from going on another metaphorical tangent.