The themes in Henry David Thoreau’s Walden truly resonate with me because I too have been trying to live a more present and intentional life over the past year. In my second semester of college I experienced intense anxiety and I was looking for ways to enjoy life again. I deleted social media and found myself trying to take control over my “life experience” in a new way than I had before. I returned to activities that I once loved as a little girl like coloring, sitting outside and watching movies. However, despite my lifestyle change of deleting major social media platforms like Tik Tok and Instagram, this past week I have realized that distraction still finds a way to sneak into my daily activities. In documenting my attention over the past week I discovered two themes. First, as described by Tim Wu, advertisements and “data collection” are so meticulously catered to preferences and past searches, and my logical thinking completely shuts down when I view one of them. I found myself clicking on an ad or a notification, and browsing on a page I had no intention of being on as if it was my idea. Secondly and arguably more concerning, the capitalistic, uber productive society we live in causes a feeling of urgency when performing tasks or making decisions. I realized, when I saw the notification of an advertisement come across my computer screen, it was as if there was a magnetic force pulling me to check what it was. When clicking on an advertisement feels like life or death, we know we have a problem.
It’s funny how even when I was deliberately paying attention to my attention, my mind was influenced by forces of our impossible digital environment. Multiple times this week, I fell victim to algorithms that cater your online feed, your taste and what you desire. While researching supplies I needed for my lesson plan on Amazon, I suddenly found myself shopping for headbands. Amazon has features like “you might also need” and “bundle these items” that distract you from the thing you intended on buying. Even the feature that shows what you searched prior when you go to look for something new is a reminder of whatever materialistic thought you had yesterday. At this moment I paused, because while I was trying to research something for an important school project, I found myself online shopping for a headband that I had decided previously I wasn’t going to get. The distraction of seeing the headband I was looking at earlier threw me off so much that I forgot I made the logical decision not to get a headband because of trying to save money. These uninvited advertisements interrupted the thinking of my logical brain, making me forget that previously I decided I did not need one.
This past week, every time I sat down to do work, the ding of a notification or the icon on my computer interrupted my focus. On Tuesday this happened four times while I was completing an assignment. Almost every time I received a notification from pinterest, sephora or an email from a store I immediately clicked on it as if I was desperate to get away from my assignment. Sprinting as far away from my boring homework as I could, my mind was stimulated by the sight of brightly colored, aesthetic products and clothes. Of course all of the emails I receive are products I have looked at or absolutely love, keeping me hooked as if I have to keep looking. My algorithm knows me so well, sometimes I think better than I know myself, and that catches me even when I don’t intend on shopping. Algorithms trick your brain into believing that this is the route it wants to take as if it was you who had the thought to search for a random product. Through this study, I realized that most of the time when I think I am choosing to take a brain break from my work and maybe look at a shopping site online, it is my phone that encourages this. It truly made me analyze what decisions I make for myself based on my own free will or which ones I make because I am influenced by my digital environment.
The results of this project were concerning, as I truly realized that my digital environment, the constant advertisements, and data collection have more control over my life than I thought. I’ve never really worried about AI taking over the world, but if the digital world around me is shaping my behavior and autonomy that starts to feel uncomfortably close. I realized that while I thought I was able to “live my life” based on my decisions, of shopping for my school project and taking a break from studying, these choices were all suggested to me by digital pressures.
Unfortunately, I think the pervasive distractions that come with living in such an advanced technological age are inevitable. However, this project has opened my eyes to how oblivious I was to them influencing me on a day to day basis. I intend to be more mindful when I feel myself influenced to click away from whatever I intended to do. I think as a society we need to continue to have these discussions of the extent to which platforms can track our data and use advertisements and that we have structured legislation as suggested by Tim Wu. Going forward I strive to be mentally tougher and resist the urge to experience something if I didn’t intend to in the first place, because we have one life and I want to be the one deciding how to live it.